Hello friends!

I want to take a second to tell you about this awesome event I am participating in April 18! AVA of Harrisonburg is a local, medical non-profit serving women facing unintended pregnancy. They provide free pregnancy testing and confirmation as well as care and counselling. As a member of AVA's prayer team, I get to hear about the women who come in and the struggles they face. I am here to tell you that AVA provides such a necessary service in our community and is a great example of being the hands and feet of Christ.

To help them continue serving the women in our community, they have an annual walk/run. As middle and high-schoolers, my friend Amy and I participated in this walk and supported them by volunteering our services as clowns (yes, you read that right - clowns) and handing out balloons and visiting with the kids who were there walking with their parents. I am so excited to get to participate as a walker this year! 
Please support me and this wonderful organization! Any amount is appreciated! Thank you!

http://www.fundeasy.com/m/2272608/

Soul Anchor

I love water. I always have. And I love being on the water. Any chance I have to be on a boat of any size, I take. I also am developing a strong liking for anchors. Ships and anchors, though, they're two very different things. A ship is freedom. A ship is adventure, a means by which to take a voyage, and an opportunity to be with the sea. An anchor, on the other hand, is permanence. It is security. It keeps you from moving from where you should be. It keeps you in place. A ship and an anchor are completely opposite things and yet both are quite useless without the other. What is a ship without an anchor? The ship would never cease moving. Journeys would never be completed. Those who sought the freedom of a ship and the sea would instead find themselves slaves, captives to them. Instead of opportunity, they would find misfortune. And an anchor without a ship? What is the value in that? It has nothing to keep in place. It is useful to nobody, merely a hunk of metal on the ocean floor.

"We who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain." Hebrews 6:18&19 (ESV)

And so, you see, it is the same way with the soul and hope. To be honest, sometimes I hate hope. I don't want it. Sometimes it is easier to accept what is without hope. But what does that do to the soul?

I am reminded of a quote by C.S. Lewis. "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."

While yes, this quote deals with love and the heart, I would suggest that it could be applied to hope and the soul as well. A soul cut off from hope will become hopeless, unmoored, adrift.

And have you ever really contemplated total hopelessness? I look at people living in darkness, in horrible situations, in pain and torment, and I wonder, "how do they survive this? How do they even get out of bed in the morning without the hope of something more than this life they're living? How their souls must hurt."

But the hope set before us, it anchors our souls in the truth of the Gospel, the promise of salvation; it keeps us anchored in the eternal Kingdom. Hope keeps us anchored and tied to our true home as our souls float about in the world.

So what is a soul without hope? Without the truth of the Gospel, that Christ died for our sins and was resurrected, our faith is futile and our souls are forfeit (1 Corinthians 15:17). But the Gospel is where our hope is found and "we have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul."

The Truth About Lies

Lies are easy.

That's the truth. Lies are so much easier to get out of our mouths sometimes than the truth is. And the truth? Well, that's harder. The world has no interest in truth. It may ask for it, but it has no desire to actually hear it. And heaven for bid the truth be volunteered.

Why is that, do you think? My conclusion? Truth is inconvenient. Really inconvenient.

"Do these jeans make my butt look big?" Anyone, male or female, can tell you that, regardless of the truth, the more convenient answer is a resounding "NO!"

Truth is inconvenient and truth can be hard to adequately communicate. Tonight I was involved in a debate with a stranger on a friend's Facebook post regarding the harmfulness of pornography. In discussing the debate with my friend I expressed that I have a hard time just walking away when I know the truth. He stated that the truth is sometimes hard to present over the internet. The truth is always harder it seems. During the debate I stated, rather innocuously I thought, that porn causes all manner of harm, be it to the man it enslaves, to the heartbroken wife who is left wondering what she should have done or what's wrong with her that she isn't enough for him, to the daughter who watches her mother change herself in every way she can think of to be more appealing to her husband so he won't need that any more, or to the son who watches his father keep his mother at arm's length and push her aside and learns that this is how he should relate to women in his life. These things barely scratch the surface. They are the "tamer" consequences. While, by the grace of God, I have not experienced this first hand, I have witnessed the pain porn can cause. The stranger, however, didn't agree. I apparently was blowing everything out of proportion. I was labeling every man who ever looked at porn a "home-wrecking bastard" and the negative situation I may have witnessed was the exception, not the rule. That's certainly not true. But I understand why the truth would be hard to swallow.

In a society that thrives, at least short term, on instant gratification, this truth is terribly inconvenient. To accept that the consumption of porn causes sexual, emotional, relational, and spiritual brokenness means either participating anyway and dealing with guilt or choosing not to engage it and forgo temporary pleasure which our society has mistakenly labelled "happiness."

Even knowing THE Truth doesn't necessarily stop the flesh from rejecting truth. A number of years ago, my friend, Leslie, and I discussed how lies, though we may know with our minds that they are lies, are much easier for our hearts to accept sometimes. Why? Well, as our conversations so often do, it ended with a shrug and an, "I just don't know." Well, I have since, in part, figured it out.

I'm going to be honest. Behind this bubbly exterior and big brown eyes lies something of a control freak. I know, those of you who know me are scraping your jaws off the floor as we speak (sorry, guys, for whatever reason "sarcasm" isn't a font option on Blogger). That being said, combine that with my sin nature and I am a breathtaking example of arrogance, stubbornness, and self-centeredness. While I might adjust my halo and claim to want to find God's will, what I actually want is to find God's will to be in accordance with mine. Anybody out there feel me? Maybe? And as it is my will I am desiring, naturally I would desire my happiness, my safety, my security, and my well-being.

So what does that have to do with lies?

I have never made much of a secret of the fact that I have struggled with my singleness and desire to be married and have a family. The lies Satan has the easiest time selling me on is that there is something wrong with me. I am not good enough, pretty enough, deserving enough, nor lovable enough to be in a relationship and nobody could ever want me. Now why is that so much easier to accept than the truth that I am created in the image of God and have been given sonship through the sacrifice and atoning work of Christ so that my worth and value are found in that? That's certainly a more positive thing to believe. Why is the lie easier?

Well, I have figured it out. If I believe that God is sovereign, then to believe the truth, to believe that I am not single due to not being beautiful enough, good enough, worthy enough or lovable enough, to believe that my value and worth are in Christ means that I am single because God willed me to be that way. Whether I am single for this season or for the rest of my life, it will not be because I am not good enough or I did something wrong, it will be because God is sovereign. As long as I believed the lies, it was about me. As long as I believed that, then I was in "control" of the situation, if only through my faults. That, dear ones, is exactly why I have found the lies so much easier to believe. The believe the truth is inconvenient for me because it means this is an intentional part of God's plan. I'm not going to lie, when I first realized this, it sort of felt like a betrayal. Of course it isn't and even if it isn't what I think I want, I have to believe God's plan for me is better. He promises it is. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." What a joyful thing to believe in place of the lies.

Another lie I have never had trouble accepting is that I can't do something. I am not good enough. I can't do enough to make a difference. I can't really help. I will fail. As with the best lies, there is an element of truth. I can't do anything, make a difference, or succeed alone. But I'm not alone, am I? These lies are so terribly convenient because they give me an ever so simple, neat, and tidy excuse to retreat, hide away in my comfort zone, give up, and never risk. Believing these lies makes it about me again. It makes my life about my comfort and safety. But life is risk. God does not call us to a safe life, a tame life, a life of safety and security. Nor does He call us to face any of it alone. Isaiah 59:19 says, "When the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD will raise up a standard against him."  Deuteronomy 20 says, "For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory." Why would I want it to do it alone?

So here's how I see it. Lies might be easier, they might let me cling to some semblance of control, they may keep life from being so much of a risk, they might make it easier to live the way you want, but they enslave you. And the truth? Well, truth is harder, but it is better. What lies do you find easier? Which truths are you rejecting?

Update 3... or... Well, I am just too tired to come up with a clever title

It is hard to believe that I have been here almost three weeks. The time has flown by. I was marveling earlier how things that felt strange and unfamiliar this time 2 weeks ago feel normal and home-like now. God has been gracious in allowing me that adjustment. Don't get me wrong, I am far from completely adjusted or from being considered an expert, but I am doing well! And I am growing.

This week stretched me in a different manner than one might expect to be stretched on a missions trip. I was placed in the position of manager for a team of 11-14 yr old soccer players. Yikes. Coming into this I knew that the black and white spherical thing is called a ball and you kick it towards what I believed to be called goals and that is my soccer knowledge. Well I had the best team there and they scarcely needed managing. They were amazing. The afternoon before the semis and finals, we were 6 and 1. We didn't win, which is a story I'm not going to get into... suffice it to say, I think if I have kids and they play soccer, I will probably be a nightmarish soccer mom. But anyway, I had a great team and a great "assistant" manager. And by assistant I mean he basically was in charge due to his skill and possession of know-how. But I am happy to report that not only did I learn a great deal about the sport, but I also got quite into the matches. It was an interesting mix of kids though, most coming from non-Christian, unchurched backgrounds. It was such a good week and it was a blessing to me to see them bonding with the youth and the youth pouring out God's love on them. This blessed me specifically because I realized that, as much as I am trying not to think about it, we are leaving in a week. I probably won't see most of these kids again. BUT the youth might. The church here has this ministry established. It has been such an honor and a blessing to be working alongside them.

As we finish our last week and a half, please be praying that I can end the trip well. It's so hard to keep from disengaging because I know I have to leave and it's going to hurt. Last night we had to say goodbye to one of the guys we have all gotten close to and it was so difficult. Please pray that we can all say goodbye well.

Thank you for your continued love, prayer, and support.

Lions Aren't So Scary

I cannot believe I have been in Ireland almost 2 weeks! Honestly, at the moment, I cannot even begin to think about going home. I miss home, sure, but I absolutely love this place and these people. They're amazing. The week we did 2 VBS camps, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. It was exhausting but Gwen, Tom, Heather, Paul, Kieran, James, Dan, Andy, Suzanne, Aisling, Ailish, and everyone else who ran them were just amazing. I loved being with the kids, loving on them, and sharing Jesus with them, but to be honest, it was serving alongside the youth and other church members that I loved the most. God really worked this week I think.

I did come to be painfully aware of something, though. Satan really doesn't want us here. He really doesn't want us loving on these kids and sharing the gospel with them. 1 Peter 5:8 says, "Be sober-minded, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." Well, that's... terrifying. Or at least, it would be if it weren't for the promises of God that He will never leave or forsake us, that He fights for us. I really had to rely on those promises this week. I had a hard couple days. Satan was definitely prowling. He was trying to devour. I was tired, my inner introvert was screaming at me, and I was still in recovery from bronchitis. He started messing with my insecurities and weaknesses. But, y'all, we serve a faithful, sovereign God. He brought me back to these promises and He brought some great people into my life to love, encourage, and build me up. And the week went out with a bang! Friday evening we had youth club. We decided to grill hot dogs, make s'mores, and play baseball to celebrate the 4th of July. So fun. During out meeting time I shared my testimony and was very blessed by how it seemed to be received. After we were done everyone just hung out enjoying an impromptu jam session, laughter, and fellowship. All of this led up to the entire youth group in the church kitchen helping us clean up at 11pm and spontaneously busting out into Father Abraham. It was like a Christian, preschool rave, just with no crazy lights and such and older kids! :-)

You know, roaring lions sound pretty scary, but it turns out that this one at least is a lot of noise. He can bite and maul, sure but I have the Holy One of Israel, my Savior to protect me and the Great Physician to heal me. Lions just aren't that scary.

A Story Worth Telling

Hello dear ones! Greetings from Ireland! I am so excited to be writing to you from Kilkenny! I have loved being here! The town is lovely, but the people are even more wonderful. I've never met more gracious, kind, laid back people. The people we've been working alongside and the youth we have worked with are great and I have been so blessed by them. Today I got the opportunity to spend some time talking and getting to know one of the guys from the youth group as we all picked up rubbish (not trash, mind you) with a program called Keep Kilkenny Beautiful. It was great to have that fellowship.

I don't have the time to write everything I want to share tonight (it's 10:30 here and just getting dark) and I doubt y'all would have time to read it all in one sitting. :-) This has been one crazy, wonderful, scary, amazing week! Y'all we serve an incredible God!

One thing that has been overwhelming to me, in a good way, is the group of ladies I am here with: Laura, Sarah, and Rachel. They are so wonderful and God started really just knitting our hearts together almost immediately. He clearly put us together with a purpose and plan in mind. We each have different personalities, strengths, giftings, etc but they are very complimentary and a great combination. Sarah and Laura are both from Birmingham, Alabama. One thing I really have appreciated about Sarah is that she constantly has been pulling us back into prayer and the Word. She has such a passion for God and the people of Ireland and is constantly seeking out people's stories and hearts. Laura is so spunky and cheerful. I think if a daisy had a personality, it would be hers. She is friendly and kind and she is always building people up. Rachel is from Jacksonville, Florida. She is such a bright, sunny spot in our home. She wants to be a physicians assistant and is in school pursuing that. She's very good at caring for people's physical needs and is always checking on us, reminding us to drink water and encouraging good, healthy habits. Additionally, she is good about keeping us accountable to each other. This combination reminds me of a story that our facilitating pastor, Tim, told once. He said that when he and his wife got married, they had a couple congregational hymns and during one he and Jonelle were so overcome by emotion that they had to stop singing and just listened to everyone else sing. He said it was such a cool picture of the Body of Christ; just because one person stops singing, it doesn't mean the song ends. I have felt this on our team. With the combination of gifts, when one of us is experiencing something hard or is not as strong at whatever we are doing and has to "stop singing" the rest of us carry on the song and carry that person along with us and to the cross. I think we pray together no less than 5 times a day.

One way our bond as a team has been strengthened is through some amazingly deep, real conversations. One thing I have struggled with for years is my testimony because I have felt that since I was saved as a 4 year old, it isn't terribly relatable for the people to whom I would be witnessing to. It's not an incredibly climactic story. It made me very insecure in evangelism and sharing my testimony. Please PLEASE don't misunderstand me here. I am very aware that the fact that there has never been a day in my life that Jesus was not a part of is a WONDERFUL thing and it is my hearts desire that if I am blessed with children, they be able to say the same thing. I've just never known how to tell it. I shared this with Rachel on our first night here and she said that she really hoped that one day I would love my story and she would pray to that end. I realized that was something I wanted too so I started praying for that. The next night Sarah, Laura, and I stayed up until 3 AM talking and sharing our stories. As I listened to theirs I was struck by how different all our backgrounds are and my heart broke for them at different points in their stories. When it was my turn, I didn't know what to say so I just started talking and sharing about my life and how different points of their stories affected me and caused me to grieve for them because of my background. When I was done they both thanked me for sharing that and Sarah said how cool it was to her that it sounds like my whole life God has just held me securely in His hands and has given me a compassionate heart through that.

As I fell asleep, I mulled over that conversation and prayed. When I woke up the next morning the first thing I thought, which I think was just clarity from the Lord, was, "Your story is a story of protection." And the more I thought about it, the more excited I got about it. Suddenly I realized, I do love my story. I am going to be sharing it at the youth club next week and am so excited to do that! Ever since, a line from a song by Matthew West has been playing through my head: "This is the story of your life, and it's a story worth telling." It's true and I am so grateful for my story.

A few things to be praying for:
- We start our outreach camps this week! Please pray for a good turnout and that the gospel would be clearly presented.
- Health for people on our team. We've got a couple sick or on the verge of becoming sick.
- Continued unity on our team
- That wonderful relationships would be formed with the youth here.

Thank you for your prayers!

< 3 Carrie

I'm Going on an Adventure!

Oh where to start? 9 hours from now I will be setting out on what may be the biggest adventure of my life thus far. 9 hours from now I will be sitting in my seat about to take off for Atlanta where I will be for a couple days before heading off to IRELAND! I think I have experienced 100 different emotions in the last couple days. I have been incredibly blessed by the amazing people God has placed in my life. Yesterday I spent time with two wonderful, generous women. Last night I sat out on a deck talking with some of my dearest friends into the wee hours of the morning about life, God, relationships, faith, and goodness knows what else. Today was spent completely surrounded by people I love! The overwhelming emotion I'm feeling right now is excitement, but it is more than that. The best way I can think to explain it is an anticipatory joy. I am so excited to see how God is going to work! I am so excited to begin all the relationships God has planned to form! I am so excited to witness His divine plan and sovereignty! I am so excited to experience worshiping with my Irish brothers and sisters in a taste of the universal church! I am so excited to experience another culture, a part of the incredibly beautiful diversity God has brought into our world! I am so excited to  love on and serve alongside those already laboring in the church in Kilkenny. I am so excited to grow further into being the woman God has called me to be! So here I go! I'm going on an adventure!

Some of you have asked how you can be praying. Please pray for:

- unity on our team and that we would learn to work together well
- wonderful relationships to be formed with the people there
- health and safety
- boldness in proclaiming the Gospel and removal of fear in building relationship

Thank you all so much! If you want to get updates from this blog while I'm gone you can either subscribe via email or follow this blog through your blogger account over to the right.