It is hard to believe that I have been here almost three weeks. The time has flown by. I was marveling earlier how things that felt strange and unfamiliar this time 2 weeks ago feel normal and home-like now. God has been gracious in allowing me that adjustment. Don't get me wrong, I am far from completely adjusted or from being considered an expert, but I am doing well! And I am growing.
This week stretched me in a different manner than one might expect to be stretched on a missions trip. I was placed in the position of manager for a team of 11-14 yr old soccer players. Yikes. Coming into this I knew that the black and white spherical thing is called a ball and you kick it towards what I believed to be called goals and that is my soccer knowledge. Well I had the best team there and they scarcely needed managing. They were amazing. The afternoon before the semis and finals, we were 6 and 1. We didn't win, which is a story I'm not going to get into... suffice it to say, I think if I have kids and they play soccer, I will probably be a nightmarish soccer mom. But anyway, I had a great team and a great "assistant" manager. And by assistant I mean he basically was in charge due to his skill and possession of know-how. But I am happy to report that not only did I learn a great deal about the sport, but I also got quite into the matches. It was an interesting mix of kids though, most coming from non-Christian, unchurched backgrounds. It was such a good week and it was a blessing to me to see them bonding with the youth and the youth pouring out God's love on them. This blessed me specifically because I realized that, as much as I am trying not to think about it, we are leaving in a week. I probably won't see most of these kids again. BUT the youth might. The church here has this ministry established. It has been such an honor and a blessing to be working alongside them.
As we finish our last week and a half, please be praying that I can end the trip well. It's so hard to keep from disengaging because I know I have to leave and it's going to hurt. Last night we had to say goodbye to one of the guys we have all gotten close to and it was so difficult. Please pray that we can all say goodbye well.
Thank you for your continued love, prayer, and support.
I cannot believe I have been in Ireland almost 2 weeks! Honestly, at the moment, I cannot even begin to think about going home. I miss home, sure, but I absolutely love this place and these people. They're amazing. The week we did 2 VBS camps, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. It was exhausting but Gwen, Tom, Heather, Paul, Kieran, James, Dan, Andy, Suzanne, Aisling, Ailish, and everyone else who ran them were just amazing. I loved being with the kids, loving on them, and sharing Jesus with them, but to be honest, it was serving alongside the youth and other church members that I loved the most. God really worked this week I think.
I did come to be painfully aware of something, though. Satan really doesn't want us here. He really doesn't want us loving on these kids and sharing the gospel with them. 1 Peter 5:8 says, "Be sober-minded, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." Well, that's... terrifying. Or at least, it would be if it weren't for the promises of God that He will never leave or forsake us, that He fights for us. I really had to rely on those promises this week. I had a hard couple days. Satan was definitely prowling. He was trying to devour. I was tired, my inner introvert was screaming at me, and I was still in recovery from bronchitis. He started messing with my insecurities and weaknesses. But, y'all, we serve a faithful, sovereign God. He brought me back to these promises and He brought some great people into my life to love, encourage, and build me up. And the week went out with a bang! Friday evening we had youth club. We decided to grill hot dogs, make s'mores, and play baseball to celebrate the 4th of July. So fun. During out meeting time I shared my testimony and was very blessed by how it seemed to be received. After we were done everyone just hung out enjoying an impromptu jam session, laughter, and fellowship. All of this led up to the entire youth group in the church kitchen helping us clean up at 11pm and spontaneously busting out into Father Abraham. It was like a Christian, preschool rave, just with no crazy lights and such and older kids! :-)
You know, roaring lions sound pretty scary, but it turns out that this one at least is a lot of noise. He can bite and maul, sure but I have the Holy One of Israel, my Savior to protect me and the Great Physician to heal me. Lions just aren't that scary.
Hello dear ones! Greetings from Ireland! I am so excited to be writing to you from Kilkenny! I have loved being here! The town is lovely, but the people are even more wonderful. I've never met more gracious, kind, laid back people. The people we've been working alongside and the youth we have worked with are great and I have been so blessed by them. Today I got the opportunity to spend some time talking and getting to know one of the guys from the youth group as we all picked up rubbish (not trash, mind you) with a program called Keep Kilkenny Beautiful. It was great to have that fellowship.
I don't have the time to write everything I want to share tonight (it's 10:30 here and just getting dark) and I doubt y'all would have time to read it all in one sitting. :-) This has been one crazy, wonderful, scary, amazing week! Y'all we serve an incredible God!
One thing that has been overwhelming to me, in a good way, is the group of ladies I am here with: Laura, Sarah, and Rachel. They are so wonderful and God started really just knitting our hearts together almost immediately. He clearly put us together with a purpose and plan in mind. We each have different personalities, strengths, giftings, etc but they are very complimentary and a great combination. Sarah and Laura are both from Birmingham, Alabama. One thing I really have appreciated about Sarah is that she constantly has been pulling us back into prayer and the Word. She has such a passion for God and the people of Ireland and is constantly seeking out people's stories and hearts. Laura is so spunky and cheerful. I think if a daisy had a personality, it would be hers. She is friendly and kind and she is always building people up. Rachel is from Jacksonville, Florida. She is such a bright, sunny spot in our home. She wants to be a physicians assistant and is in school pursuing that. She's very good at caring for people's physical needs and is always checking on us, reminding us to drink water and encouraging good, healthy habits. Additionally, she is good about keeping us accountable to each other. This combination reminds me of a story that our facilitating pastor, Tim, told once. He said that when he and his wife got married, they had a couple congregational hymns and during one he and Jonelle were so overcome by emotion that they had to stop singing and just listened to everyone else sing. He said it was such a cool picture of the Body of Christ; just because one person stops singing, it doesn't mean the song ends. I have felt this on our team. With the combination of gifts, when one of us is experiencing something hard or is not as strong at whatever we are doing and has to "stop singing" the rest of us carry on the song and carry that person along with us and to the cross. I think we pray together no less than 5 times a day.
One way our bond as a team has been strengthened is through some amazingly deep, real conversations. One thing I have struggled with for years is my testimony because I have felt that since I was saved as a 4 year old, it isn't terribly relatable for the people to whom I would be witnessing to. It's not an incredibly climactic story. It made me very insecure in evangelism and sharing my testimony. Please PLEASE don't misunderstand me here. I am very aware that the fact that there has never been a day in my life that Jesus was not a part of is a WONDERFUL thing and it is my hearts desire that if I am blessed with children, they be able to say the same thing. I've just never known how to tell it. I shared this with Rachel on our first night here and she said that she really hoped that one day I would love my story and she would pray to that end. I realized that was something I wanted too so I started praying for that. The next night Sarah, Laura, and I stayed up until 3 AM talking and sharing our stories. As I listened to theirs I was struck by how different all our backgrounds are and my heart broke for them at different points in their stories. When it was my turn, I didn't know what to say so I just started talking and sharing about my life and how different points of their stories affected me and caused me to grieve for them because of my background. When I was done they both thanked me for sharing that and Sarah said how cool it was to her that it sounds like my whole life God has just held me securely in His hands and has given me a compassionate heart through that.
As I fell asleep, I mulled over that conversation and prayed. When I woke up the next morning the first thing I thought, which I think was just clarity from the Lord, was, "Your story is a story of protection." And the more I thought about it, the more excited I got about it. Suddenly I realized, I dolove my story. I am going to be sharing it at the youth club next week and am so excited to do that! Ever since, a line from a song by Matthew West has been playing through my head: "This is the story of your life, and it's a story worth telling." It's true and I am so grateful for my story.
A few things to be praying for:
- We start our outreach camps this week! Please pray for a good turnout and that the gospel would be clearly presented.
- Health for people on our team. We've got a couple sick or on the verge of becoming sick.
- Continued unity on our team
- That wonderful relationships would be formed with the youth here.
Oh where to start? 9 hours from now I will be setting out on what may be the biggest adventure of my life thus far. 9 hours from now I will be sitting in my seat about to take off for Atlanta where I will be for a couple days before heading off to IRELAND! I think I have experienced 100 different emotions in the last couple days. I have been incredibly blessed by the amazing people God has placed in my life. Yesterday I spent time with two wonderful, generous women. Last night I sat out on a deck talking with some of my dearest friends into the wee hours of the morning about life, God, relationships, faith, and goodness knows what else. Today was spent completely surrounded by people I love! The overwhelming emotion I'm feeling right now is excitement, but it is more than that. The best way I can think to explain it is an anticipatory joy. I am so excited to see how God is going to work! I am so excited to begin all the relationships God has planned to form! I am so excited to witness His divine plan and sovereignty! I am so excited to experience worshiping with my Irish brothers and sisters in a taste of the universal church! I am so excited to experience another culture, a part of the incredibly beautiful diversity God has brought into our world! I am so excited to love on and serve alongside those already laboring in the church in Kilkenny. I am so excited to grow further into being the woman God has called me to be! So here I go! I'm going on an adventure!
Some of you have asked how you can be praying. Please pray for:
- unity on our team and that we would learn to work together well
- wonderful relationships to be formed with the people there
- health and safety
- boldness in proclaiming the Gospel and removal of fear in building relationship
Thank you all so much! If you want to get updates from this blog while I'm gone you can either subscribe via email or follow this blog through your blogger account over to the right.
You know, I have referred to myself as a "spiritual Dory" before (which will only mean something to you if you've seen "Finding Nemo"), yet I am always surprised when I prove my own point. I KNOW God's faithfulness. I have experienced, felt, heard of, and witnessed His love, mercy, and provision. So why should it surprise me? Well, as irritated as I tend to get with myself about that, I also wonder if maybe that too is how God works. If catching me by surprise just adds to the joy I find in how God works in my life. Y'all, it's just so cool!
I was reminded just how cool it is today. Today we had a conference call with some of the other interns. I was able to connect with the intern on the Ireland team that I hadn't been able to connect with yet. Turns out, she's also out of college and the same age as I am. I know this may sound weird, but I had been a little worried that if the other interns were all college aged I would feel out of place or end up being the den mother of the group. I had been praying for a change of heart attitude and that I would stop worrying about it and just entrust it to God. Well, this intern is my age. We graduated from high school the same year. AND she also teaches preschool. How cool is that? I never expected that prayer to be answered in this way. I understood it to be a pretty rare thing for a summer intern not to be in college. But, this is how God decided to work.
Also during the call, I shared a story about a fundraising experience. The coach in charge of the call said if I hadn't already, I needed to share that with the group on Facebook. I posted the story this evening and within an hour had a comment from another intern. She lives in the same state and we have a bunch of mutual friends. She wanted to know if I went to church where she does. AND I DO! I have never met this girl before, but it is a large church. I am so excited to have this new connection and someone local to share the preparations for the field with.
It's been a cool day. It's been the kind that makes me wonder how many times I can use the word cool in one blog post before it's rendered meaningless. So yes, I am still a spiritual Dory, but that's okay. Where I in my imperfection am frustrated by that in myself, I serve a perfect God who delights in me, His often scatterbrained and forgetful daughter, and in surprising and blessing me. It's been a good day. Thank you, Abba.
Well, here we are again, Valentine's Day. This day has earned itself multiple aliases over the years: V-Day, Hearts Day, Singles Awareness Day, or, as my dear friend Dan dubbed it, "Women are Cruel Evil Succubi Day." Don't worry, he was just joking. I think. Anyway, yes, as a single person, Valentine's Day can be somewhat less than fun. Even if you don't really care all that much about it, you're still being constantly reminded that you are single. And like many single people, I had come to resent it (confession 1, though it really shouldn't come as all that big a shock). For pretty much a month beforehand, we are bombarded by ads, big balloons, massive teddy bears (confession 2: I always look at those and think, "what in the world would a grown woman need or do with that thing?" Then I think I would like to have one.), boxes of chocolate so large that they could single-handedly send you into a diabetic coma even if you aren't diabetic, and every shade of red and pink imaginable. And if you're a Hallmark employee, trust me, it's even worse. It is rather easy, at this point and in that frame of heart and mind, for Satan to worm his way in with his well-aimed, well-timed arrows. Unfortunately, unlike Cupid's arrows which are tipped in love, Satan's are doused in poisonous lies. You know, just because you're single, it doesn't mean you are alone. Just because you're single, it doesn't mean you are unloved. Confession 3: more often than not, I forget that.
But of course we're surrounded by all those things. Valentine's Day is, after all, a celebration of love! Now, yes, most people use it as a celebration of romantic love. Given the legendary history of Valentine's Day they are correct to do so. One legend says that when Emperor Claudius II ruled, he decided men could no longer marry because unmarried men were better soldiers. Valentine refused to abide by this law and continued to perform marriage ceremonies in secret. When he was discovered, Claudius had him executed. But while most view it as a romantic holiday, Valentine's Day is a celebration of love and there are all kinds of love, as I was reminded of today.
There is the kind of love that is found in a great big Papa Bear hug before leaving for work. There is the kind of love that causes a terrific teaching assistant, who already gives so much of herself in loving and serving me and our preschoolers, to bring me English Breakfast K-Cups so I would have something to use in our classroom Keurig and because she knows I love tea and often need an afternoon pick-me-up that is caffeinated in nature. There is the kind of love that is shown in the excited eyes and voice of a little 4 year old boy who comes running up after all his valentine cards have been delivered clutching one last love note in his sweet little hand. There is the kind of love shown by a parent who sent me tea from Kenya (noticing a theme? I love tea!) and a note thanking me for how much and how well I love their son. There is the kind of love felt in a little girl hugging me so hard I swear I heard and felt a rib crack. There is the kind of love that comes via a text from my younger brother to say "I love you!" There is the kind of love that causes two of my favorite little buddies' eyes to light up and to shriek, "Miss Carrie!!! Miss Carrie is here!!!" when they answer the door to find me standing on their porch. There is the kind of love that is found by two dear friends enjoying an unseasonably lovely afternoon at the park sharing about the joys and struggles of life and encouraging and entertaining each other. There is the kind of love felt in sharing dinner with wonderful parents. There is the kind of love found in two friends laughing hysterically together over a movie about the effect of love on zombies (I'll tell you something, I really enjoyed Warm Bodies). Oh, and there's the kind of love that affects zombies!
But even more than all those amazing, wonderful kinds of loves, there is the unchangeable, unfathomable, inseparable love of our Heavenly Father which is demonstrated over and over again in more ways than we can imagine or comprehend. It is displayed in each breath we are permitted to take and in each of the previously mentioned loves. It is displayed in our salvation and in the fruits we bear as a result.
So yes, I don't necessarily fit in at society's Valentine's Day party. Yes, I'm actually still waiting for my date to come pick me up for that party, but that's okay. See, here's the thing I realized: I'm blessed. I didn't just only get to have a romantic evening with my significant other. I experienced an entire day of being surrounded by people I love and who love me. I was loved on and blessed by those people (though really, many of them do that every day). I got to love and bless them in return. So who, really, after all that, could look at Valentine's Day and hate it?
I am very excited to share that I
have received the official invitation from the team in Kilkenny, Ireland to
join them for a month this summer. While there, I will be assisting church
members with their annual vacation Bible school and annual soccer sports
outreach ministry. I will also help with children's and youth ministry as
well as community outreach and evangelism projects. The current plan is to
be there mid-late June to mid-late July. I am very excited by this opportunity
to serve the church and Body of Christ there in Kilkenny and am looking forward
to spending time serving in children’s and youth ministries there especially.
I am in a unique and awesome
situation in that I already have my support raised so I can focus on spiritual
preparation, learning about the country I will be serving in, and connecting
with the others who will be serving through this internship as well. I would
appreciate continued prayers as I continue to prepare for this service
opportunity. Some specific ways you can be praying for me are:
-That I
would continue to grow closer and stronger in the Lord as I continue serving by
teaching my preschoolers here and as I prepare to serve Him in Ireland this
summer.
-That there would be a strong sense of team unity
and common purpose with my co-interns.
-That God would remove shyness and give me
boldness for the community outreach and evangelism aspects of this, which are
not necessarily areas I feel comfortable or gifted in. I am much more
comfortable and gifted in working with kids and youth, loving on them, and
sharing with them.
-For good health and safe travel while I’m there.
-I will be getting an international driver’s
license and be responsible for driving my co-interns around while we’re there
and that makes me exceedingly nervous. Please pray that I will adjust QUICKLY
to the different traffic patterns and laws, driving on the wrong side of the
road, on the wrong side of the car, and to an unknown city!
When I started thinking about what to call this blog, I was thinking about the purpose of this blog. I wanted a place to be able to write about my time in Ireland this summer and the time leading up to it, but also to use once I'm back to write about what the Lord is teaching me and how He's leading me. During my musings, I started humming "Be Thou My Vision," a beautiful old hymn that, interestingly enough, is Irish in origin. The words are such a beautiful prayer and so much what I want my prayer to be at all times. One of my absolute favorite versions of this song is by Michael Card and is on his Starkindler album.
Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me save that Thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping Thy presence my light
Be Thou my wisdom, and Thou my true word
I ever with Thee and Thou with me Lord
Thou my Great Father, I Thy true son
Thou with me dwelling and I with Thee one
Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise
Thou mine inheritance, now and always
Thou and Thou only first in my heart
High King of Heaven, my treasure Thou art
High King of Heaven, my victory won
May I reach Heaven's joys, O bright Heaven's sun
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall
Still be my vision, oh Ruler of all
